Thursday 18 August 2011

Juliana nominated for Nigerian award

JULIANA NOMINATED FOR NIGERIAN AWARD

Gossip— 15 August 2011
Juliana nominated for Nigerian award

The rate at which our local musicians are getting international recognition is on the rise. A few weeks ago, it was Keko, Chameleone who were nominated in Kenyan music awards. Latest info is that Song bird Juliana Kanyomozi has been nominated for the pan African artiste/group of the year for the sixth edition of Nigerian Entertainment Awards 2011.

This makes the sexy singer the only Ugandan nominated for the awards ceremony. She has been nominated for the award with Awilo Longomba, R2Bees, Winky D and Fally Ipupa. Her nomination is courtesy of her chat toppers Alive Again and Hatarudi Nyuma collaboration with Tanzania’s Bushoke.

Golola’s party flops terribly

GOLOLA’S PARTY FLOPS TERRIBLY

Gossip— 16 August 2011
Golola’s party flops terribly

Apparently, East African kick boxing champion Golola Moses’ hot temper is no more. Otherwise how do you explain his party dubbed ‘Hot Temper Party’ flopping? The party organized by Patrick Kanyomozi’s Kweli Productions was meant to congratulate Golola upon his victory over Sudan’s Adul Qadir Rahim last month. By 10pm, the Venue- Garden City roof top was visibly filled with empty seats and the organizers. What is shocking is that Golola’s Moses did not show up for his own party.

He must have been tipped off by someone at the venue not to show up and embarrass himself. Is manager Patrick Kanyomozi after realizing that the party had flopped, he stealthily disappeared leaving his crew behind. Well, Kanyomozi, next time give your events some more publicity and do not rely on Facebook alone. Just advising!

Cesc Fábregas starts with a night to remember at Barcelona

Cesc Fábregas starts with a night to remember at Barcelona


Debutant makes his mark off the bench as Real Madrid are beaten 5-4 on aggregate in the Spanish Super Cup

  • The Guardian,
  • Article history
lionel messi
Lionel Messi, centre, is congratulated by Cesc Fábregas, right and Seydou Keita after scoring the winning goal. Photograph: Josep Lago/AFP/Getty Images

Cesc Fábregas's first big night out since returning to his home town ended in a fight but it also ended in celebration. The former Arsenal captain has collected his first trophy as a Barcelona player, just two days after joining the club. It was 1am when he was parading round the Camp Nou pitch with new team-mates and old friends carrying the Spanish Super Cup, snatched from Real Madrid's grasp in dramatic fashion. At last the clásicos were something approaching a classic – some way from the four games in 18 days that these teams played last season.

Fábregas was on the pitch for a little over 10 minutes but he packed in enough incident for five times that. As he stood on the touchline waiting to come on with just over 10 minutes remaining, he saw his first trophy appear to slip away before his eyes. Barcelona were 2-1 up, 4-3 on aggregate, and Cesc was hopping up and down when a poor corner from Kaká was only half cleared by Adriano. Turned back in, Karim Benzema brought it down on his chest and smuggled it beyond Víctor Valdés.

Suddenly it was 2-2 on the night, 4-4 on aggregate. A superb first half had given way to a bitty second and Barça appeared to have lost their way. There had been few genuine opportunities although Sergio Busquets had headed over and Andrés Iniesta had seen Ilker Casillas block. The best chance had fallen to Madrid's Sergio Ramos from another corner – only for him to head wide from the edge of the six-yard box.

If Fábregas had hoped to enjoy the final minutes, he had a job to do. And he certainly did it. His first touch was a simple, inconsequential pass for Eric Abidal but there was a key contribution to be made. The truth, though, was that the greatest impact would be made, yet again, by Lionel Messi – the Argentinian, who scored in the first leg, got two more here and made the other with a sumptuous assist. This time he was helped by Fábregas.

There were three minutes remaining and this match, which had kicked off at 11pm, was heading for a late finish. Fábregas's slick ball across to Messi from the right was instantly turned into the path of Adriano. Messi continued his run and Adriano's ball fell for him to hit a clean left-footed volley into the net to make it 3-2 and 5-4 on aggregate. Although neither he nor his team has been able to dominate as is their custom, Madrid's intensity making that impossible, ultimately Messi's contribution would prove colossal.

Like the first leg, this was another fast, intense match, with both teams squeezing each other high up the pitch, forcing the pace ever faster – the ball whizzed about and the challenges did too. At times the precision, at such pace, was mind-boggling. At others, the sheer athleticism was. Often the entire game appeared to be played in a 20-metre strip as each side sought a way to spring the lock and race into the open field beyond.

On the quarter-hour Leo Messi had produced an assist that was almost a carbon copy of the one provided for David Villa when Barcelona defeated Real Madrid 5-0 last November. Dropping the shoulder and shifting his weight with the speed and imperceptibility that made it impossible to react to, he cut inside and away from Sami Khedira, before threading an immaculate pass through the gap for Iniesta to run on to. There was still a long way to goal and Casillas to beat. Breath was held but Iniesta put the brakes on, paused and clipped it over the keeper.

Madrid deservedly equalised, Ronaldo nudging Benzema's shot past Valdés following a corner. It was the first time he had scored in five trips to the Camp Nou and, astonishingly, it was his 100th Real Madrid goal. And, if he barely touched that one, he thumped the next when, five minutes later, he sent a shot screeching towards goal, off Valdés's fists and against the bar.

Ronaldo was active but again Messi proved decisive, giving Barcelona the lead when he chested a corner into the path of Gerard Piqué and ran on to the central defender's clever backheel, finding space in a congested penalty area just before half time. One touch, two, and the third was a delicate dink over Casillas as Ronaldo skidded in on his knees.

Madrid's second equaliser in the 79th minute, as Fábregas waited, forced Barcelona to act. It forced the man coming on to do so too. His pass helped set up the winner and even then there was more drama. Almost immediately afterwards he was sent crashing to the floor by an angry, frustrated tackle from Marcelo. The Brazilian was handed a red card and suddenly it flared up on the touchline as players and officials waded in. José Mourinho appeared to clash with a Barcelona assistant and José Morais came springing out of the technical area to confront another. Gonzalo Higuaín grabbed at the throat of Barcelona's substitute goalkeeper José Pinto. Mesut Ozil, Villa and Marcelo were all sent off. All around people lost their heads and confrontations sparked but Fábregas, as he lay on the floor, could afford to smile. It had been quite a night.

Friday 29 July 2011

How To Play Baskteball in 12 Steps. Next time And1 comes…

How To Play Baskteball In 12 Steps. Next Time And1 Comes…

By • Jun 21st, 2011 • Category: Columns, Featured Post, How To: The 12-Step Guide

If you had been at the recent And-1 exhibition game at YMCA, you would have noticed how many Ugandans love basketball, and how much they admired the players, and you may have thought to yourself, “My sense of self-worth is very low. I need the constant approval of strangers in order to feel complete as a person. I want to be considered a star. I should learn to play this game.”

Well, you have come to the right place. It’s the Urban Legend 12-Step Guide to Success in Absolutely Everything. Today, How To Play Basketball.

  1. You need the right equipment. This means large red balls. Now, I know that joke was very obvious, but I just had to get it out of the way. Don’t sneer, it is there in the constitution of humour writing—you are not allowed to write about sports without attempting a joke about testicles.

    You see?

  2. You need palms the size of an ordinary man’s foot. The best way to get large hands is genetically, but if this fails, then you must avoid watching Tom and Jerry. Tom and Jerry will just give you stupid ideas, like making you think if you bang your fist with a hammer it will expand. That does NOT happen in reality (ref: wikipedia) and may actually lead to a great amount of pain instead.
  3. If you have little girl handlets, don’t play basketball. Go play Ludo with Barbie dolls. (This point applies to men. If you are a woman, ignore it or it will be sexist).
  4. The good news is that you don’t have to be tall to play basketball. In fact, if you are short, this just makes it harder for the tall players to “guard” you. So the next step is don’t worry about your height.
  5. Now, you need to know the rules. They include: No travelling, no double-dribble, no backcourt violation, no carrying and if you feel the need for a snack during the game, make sure you first pass the ball to a teammate before you take the box of Nice Biscuits out of your jockstrap.
  6. Do not offer your teammates biscuits that you had been storing in your jockstrap. Eugh.

    You see!

  7. I forgot to mention teammates. In a regulation basketball game, you have to get four other guys to play on your team. You don’t have to pay them, but if you insist, me and three other legends can be convinced.
  8. The purpose of the game is to “shoot” the basketball into the “hoop”. The basketball is just made of rubber and air, so a small-calibre weapon can do this if your aim is good.
  9. Women find basketball players very sexy, so deodorize thoroughly before and after each game, so that the sex you have does not make the lady too uncomfortable.
  10. If you really want to impress the chicks then you should learn how to dunk. Dunking is different from the regular way of scoring. Normal scoring involves throwing the ball and aiming it carefully so that it falls neatly into the little round hoop. In dunking you just go up and put in the ball.
  11. Shave your armpits.
  12. Go to America to join an NBA team so that you can become obscenely wealthy from endorsement deals and when that happens, remember that I’m the one who taught you everything you know and send me regular cheques. In dollars. Shilling is depreciating now.

    Seriously. How the hell do you NOT make ball jokes?

Appreciate The Bad Economy You Ungrateful Little Nankanis

Appreciate The Bad Economy You Ungrateful Little Nankanis

By Maureen Makuba • Jul 28th, 2011 • Category: Politics, Society, Suburbans

Oh you whining, ungrateful lot. When do you ever appreciate anything? Hmmm? WHEN? You complain like a woman married to a broke man who seems to pair the term “sauce” with all things leafy and legumes. Does he not understand that cows, chickens and pigs were made to be eaten? Mbu biringanya. Msssccchhhew. Who tells him you want clear, zit-free skin? There’s also a reason samona was made. Mekako also.

Now that right there, ladies and gentlemen, that right there is what we call an intellectual woman

Moving on. You Ugandans have taken this freedom thing too far. Because they allow you to complain about sensible things like unchanging election results, you now think you can sneak in other grievances. Where are your manners? Oh, wait. You must be the lot that went through school minus caning. Sigh. More work for me. But I will try to teach you, educate and enlighten on the saintly virtue that is compromise. When food prices compete with house construction materials, you compromise and you buy the meat. You can find a free house in Kololo.

Sugar is bad:

Because sugar prices have shot up 5 times the amount in as many months is no reason to pout. Children, sugar gets you fat. Eventually. Our economy is helping us out. If you cut out sugar for the rest of the year, you can lose 5kgs which will provide more room for gluttony come Christmas. See?

All things foreign:

Foreign things are the reason you spoilt kids are suffering at the unseen kick of the economy. We’re throwing them out. Mbu blueband. Just dip your bread in the tea. I know the tea has no sugar. But no blueband + no sugar = 10kgs weight loss. Smile for auntie.

Veggies are good:

Auntie knows you don’t understand how katunkuma has moved from mama’s weed pile to your plate. It’s like this; katunkuma burns cholesterol. And meat has plenty of that. Unnecessary fat. You do want to fit in those barely there dresses, don’t you? And the men? Please. It is time. Bellies are 1999-rated. We prefer tone and muscle. Quit pigging out. Pun intended.

Giving glory:

God made the sun and moon for a reason and you foreign-things-loving people have denied them their power for decades. Now, we must repent. And our beloved government is helping out. No power for…well, a long while. Bright side is you get to relive your granny’s childhood and play with battery-run radios. Now, who ever thought they’d have common history with jajja?

You see? Oba you squint? Whichever. The current situation has a dark, tasteless and unsatisfying appeal. But this is the stuff history is made of.

I knew I’d have you all smiling by the end of this post…err, typing session. Good boys and girls.

What If This Title Made You Read This Article?

What If This Title Made You Read This Article?

By Erique • Jul 28th, 2011 • Category: Society, WTH

This is the only real life discussion you’ll ever get from me so pay close attention. But first, I’m dying so be right back.

That’s better. Now.

Many a time we take the most fundamental things in life for granted. Like after having a nice meal, you forget to walk up to the kind waiter and tell him “Ssebo, nga the bill is delaying”. Or after years of an honest marriage, you forget to appreciate your spouse every once in a while with a new kid from another spouse instead of the same old kids you keep unreasonably putting inside her.

Today, let’s not ignore the most important questions that build us into what we are today. Let’s ask ourselves:

  • What if my parents had never met, would my phone still have fallen in water?
  • What if all MPs represented us by somersaulting and doing bendover for us?
  • Wh t if the letter “ ” w s not there in this sentence?
  • What if the eggs I was frying suddenly stood up and asked why I had refused to let them grow into real chickens with a bright future?
  • What if pigs were given the freedom to choose what they wanted to be called?
  • What if my plate of katogo suddenly became aware of its rights?
  • What if there was a stranger out there whose name I didn’t even know?
  • What if Red Pepper staff wore nappies during their meetings?

In totally unrelated news:

We can’t fight properly with only two fighter jets. Wamma please buy more, Mister President. The teachers can wait until the economy is big enough to start sustaining people’s needs.

  • What if I could transform into my favourite meal every time I was hungry?
  • What if I knew the things I know and didn’t know the things I don’t know?
  • What if my name really didn’t love me back?
  • What if Tamale Mirundi’s brain told him to get his act together before they could become friends again?
  • What if I took the time and hid it from all clocks and watches in the world?
  • What if boda bodas were actually evil aliens that planned to take over the world by taking us to our destinations and asking for money for it?
  • What if all sound on earth went on strike until its problems were heard?
  • What if my eyes didn’t have a clue about the weird things I’ve seen in life?
  • What if light and darkness stopped acting so childish and started working together?
  • What if the fighter jets said no to the president’s sexual advances?
  • What if this article ended abruptly withou

Darkness

Darkness

By Ivan • Jul 29th, 2011 • Category: Movie Of The Month

They took over from production company UEB and brought you worldwide blockbusters like Load Shedding. And now they are back with the much-anticipated, hard-hitting, big budget sequel: Darkness…

Saturday 18 June 2011

Kitende dominate sports

Kitende dominate sports


St Mary's Kitende were dominant in action

After winning the Coca Cola school’s title, St. Mary’s Kitende added St the schools boys’ volleyball and Netball title to their trophy cabinet s they emerged top performers as the schools ball games at Bweranyangi in Bushenyi Friday.

However, Kitende’s cerebrations were mixed with agony following the nasty injury on

Kibibi were declared winners of the handball competition after their final against Gombe was discontinued prematurely. This is after Gombe SS player Jonathan Kigula was injured, losing two teeth after he clashed into an opponent. Kibibi, who were leading 9-5 lead were declared winners by the technical committee.

In the boy’s final, Kitende was straight winners over Kinaawa to retain the schools’ title.

They had no problem beating them 25-22, 25-18, 25-22 to the title, which came with the opportunity of having them represent the country in the East Africa school games that will hosted in Mbarara in August.

The Kitende netballers did not also let down their volleyball counterparts, beating St. Julian 22-17 in the competition that attracted over 80 teams.

Trust High Gayaza surprised the perennial contenders when they beat Mbarara’s St. Bridget in straight sets to lift the girls’ volleyball trophy. They had eliminated favourites Katikamu in the semifinals.

Final Results

Volleyball

Boys

St. Mary’s Kitende 3 Kinaawa 0

Girls

Trust High 3 St. Bridget Mbarara 0

Netball

St. Mary’s Kitende 22 St. Julian 17

Handball

Boys

Kibibi 9 Gombe 5 (match abandoned)

Girls

Kibibi 5 Gombe 4

New app allows you to access Facebook from within excel style spreadsheets at work


Author of Brilliant App Lets You Access Facebook From Within Excel Spreadsheets At Work

Brilliant App Lets You Access Facebook From Within Excel Spreadsheets At Work

June 18th, 2011 by Niall Harbison in Facebook

Penelope Looking Into The Future Mixed Media by Tusiime Innocent Boub

Penelope Looking Into The Future

Penelope Looking Into The Future Mixed Media - Tusiime Innocent Boub
Title:
Penelope Looking Into The Future
Artist:
Tusiime Innocent Boub
Medium:
Mixed Media - Coloured Pencil & Ink On Paper
Price
Not Specified
Dimensions
16.000 x 20.000 cm.
This piece is not for sale. Please feel free to contact the artist directly regarding this or other pieces.
Click here to contact the artist.
Description:
I drew this in my Form 6 long Holidays in 2002. Penelope is our neighbour at home and she was a very good friend and year-mate of mine. We spent a great deal of time together that year until I left for a Career in Art & Design in August 2002. She still lives (TZ).
Posted:
May 6th, 2011
Statistics:
Viewed 5 Times - Last Viewed by a Visitor from Kenya on 05/16/2011 at 10:17 AM
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Image Link:

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